11.23.2012

Global Methane Levels Hit All-Time High

Are your farts killing the planet?
From: The World Meteorological Organization:

The amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere reached a new record high in 2011, according to the World Meteorological Organization. Between 1990 and 2011 there was a 30% increase in radiative forcing – the warming effect on our climate – because of carbon dioxide (CO2) and other heat-trapping long-lived gases.

With this news coming out just after Thanksgiving, the question is how much of an impact does post-Thanksgiving dinner farting impact the greenhouse gas problem? If cow farts can add a substantial amount of harmful methane to the atmosphere surely my Uncle Dave is doing his part after consuming way too much stuffing. What can be done? Why isn't there a vacuum we can place over our assholes after a big dinner to fart into that filters the methane into a less damaging gas? You can talk about electric cars and solar energy all you want, but we cannot ignore the threat of mass American flatulence that occurs shortly after big holiday meals. Until a permanent solution is discovered the best you can do is avoid farting outdoors and try to stay away from too much roughage and excessive fiber intake.

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