Deadly Nestle Nesquik Salmonella Recall

Say hello to the face of DEATH.

Nestle Corporation is recalling tins of their Nesquik chocolate milk mix product for fears that it may contain deadly Salmonella. It is a limited recall, but honestly if you have any Nesquik it's best to mail it back just in case. It's really not worth shitting yourself to death with Salmonella over some chocolate beverage. For those of you that don't know, Salmonella is a often deadly strain of bacteria that causes a person's insides to liquify and explode out of their anus.

This is a horrifying event because it means that diseases are finding their way into GOOD FOOD. In the recent past we've seen recalls of foods like spinach, Whole Foods peanut butter, and dog food, but now things I might actually consume are at risk. Not only me, but come to think of it, children are at risk. No self respecting child would eat spinach or anything from Whole Foods, but they would drink Nesquik. The Nesquik Bunny and the incompetence of all his employees at the Nestle Factory is threatening the lives of children. How does Salmonella get into chocolate powder? Did someone shit in the cocoa vat? We as consumers need to demand this knowledge. WHO SHIT IN THE COCOA VAT?! Was it the rabbit? I'll bet it was that damned rabbit!