Creative Ways To Help The Homeless

Giving gifts to homeless people is probably one of the best things you can do during the holiday season, but everyone always gives the same shit, clothes, food, and money. Here are ten things you can get for a homeless person that most people don't think of:

10). Q-tips. When you're homeless one of the first luxuries you forget about is q-tips. This holiday season, give the gift that keeps on giving, the orgasmic feeling of pushing a q-tip a little too far into your ear canal and rubbing the sides of your head pussies. PLUS it helps clean out ear wax so they can hear danger and threats that might have gone unnoticed with ears full of wax.

9). Porn magazines. Just make sure you get the proper ones, ask a hobo what he likes first. Don't just thrust "Barely Legal" at him assuming he's into that shit, be a little more caring than that.

8). Dog. If you see a hobo who's lonely, give him a dog from a kennel and save two lives at once.

7). Drugs. Yes drugs are bad, but a lot of hobos are drug addicts and by getting the drugs FOR THEM you assume the risk and thereby protect the hobo from any possible dangers that might arise from a bad deal.

6). Vodka or Gin. These are fairly pure alcohol spirits with limited sugar that help keep someone warm as well as act like Listerine to combat bad breath.

5). Gum. When was the last time you saw a hobo chewing gum? Usually they're chewing their tongue or nothing because their mouths are so dry! Help them juice it up! 4 out of 5 dentists recommend chewing Trident after a meal when brushing and flossing isn't available.

4). Cologne or perfume. Now this might seem insulting at first, but everyone likes to smell good and a sweet smelling hobo is more likely to obtain public donations.

3). Take them to a movie. After a hobo has the perfume on, take her to a movie. "Skyfall" is out and it's great. Going to the movies to see a thrilling blockbuster action movie is something people who have houses take for granted.

2). A personalized dinner. Bring a hobo home. It doesn't have to be Thanksgiving, it can be any night. Fix a nice home cooked meal and light a candle for ambiance.

1). Sex. Help a homeless person feel loved again. Do whatever you feel you can, don't force it. If the feelings are there then let it happen organically, if not, I'm sure a simple hand job or fingering will suffice.