CNN's Ridiclous Election Projections

Apparently CNN has some weird system where they can count a dozen or so ballots and extrapolate who's going to win a state's electoral votes when only 0.002% of the total votes have come in. You can't just say who's going to win before you have the cold hard facts unless there are no facts and this is all manipulated bullshit... I don't believe in monitoring the election as the votes are counted. It's exactly like watching a marathon, the action is nonexistent, the commentators are yammering fools, and I'd rather just go to sleep and wake up finding out a Black guy won.

This just in... With 26% of all votes tabulated for the 2012 Presidential Election, CNN is now projecting that Jorge Saltynipples has won the Presidency in 2024. I don't know who this guy is, but CNN is getting better and better with their projections every second so let's not jump to conclusions about their jumping to conclusions. I give a lot of credit to CNN, I think that if the American government put half the effort CNN does with holograms and giant touchscreens into fixing the country we would own China and be living on Mars by now. Also what's up with Wolf Blitzer? What is this guy's DEAL? He just interrupts Touchscreen Dude like he's his teacup chihuahua bitch. You don't diss Touchscreen Dude, Wolfman! He's the only one who knows how to use that fucking thing!