The 2012 New York City Marathon Has Been Shut Down

Mayor Bloomberg has decided to cancel the annual New York City Marathon, or as it's otherwise known as "The Running of the Stick People" or "Bulimic Folks Jogging For Two Hours". I can't believe this shit! New York needs to show the world it can take a hit from a huge storm and keep on going! And what better way to show that than by letting 30,000 people not from New York run through the wind ravaged disaster zone!

Now that there's no marathon if I want to watch someone run to the point of near death exhaustion on Sunday I'll have to chase a lady through the park with a meat cleaver, again. It's too bad the marathon is cancelled because with all the flooding, downed trees and power lines thanks to Hurricane Sandy, this year's race could have been more like that Olympics shit where they jump over wide boxes and puddles. Obviously the biggest losers after this news are non-African runners who might have stood a chance since maybe some of the Kenyans who were going to win were stuck overseas unable to catch a flight into NYC after the hurricane. Oh well, there's always next year to watch anorexic looking motherfuckers do a human NASCAR race. Maybe if we're lucky they can postpone it till the dead of Winter and we can see some REAL perseverance. If these people could run 26 or so miles with icicles dangling out of their nose and asses then that's something I'd be impressed by!