Why It's Bad To Win The Lottery

Now THAT is a fine vehicle!

As we all know, the lottery can end up destroying people's lives even when they win. I never play it because I know that even if I did win, I'd instantly have leeches all over me trying to take the money away like family and the IRS. The minute everyone found out I won my parents would be calling me up talking about their unpaid medical bills and funds they need for their shitty liver surgeries and I'd have to rush around hiding from them. I would have wanted to take some time and scout out the right island to buy, but the pressure of all the women claiming to have my children calling me asking for child support might rush me into a bad decision. I might run too many red lights and crash my Maserati right into a school or something. I might purchase an island that I thought was safe, but turns out to have a deadly monster or crazed savage natives hidden on it. And the worst thing about winning the lottery is no matter how much money you have, you still can't do super illegal things. The whole point of money is power and the whole point of power is you can do whatever you want, but no matter how much money you have you can't go to your job with a wrecking ball and smash the entire building apart at 10 AM while laughing maniacally through giant concert speakers. So what's the point?