Dumbass Sayings: “Butterface”

Sometimes you hear people talking about their wife saying she’s a “Butterface.” This is supposed to mean that everything about her is great “but her face.” What kind of sexist horse crap is this? This phrase must really bother some women. Mostly because there's no male version of it. You can’t say “Butthisface,” that doesn’t roll off the tongue. That’s just another way men have an unfair advantage I suppose. But this phrase is messed up for more than just that reason. The thing is, no one’s a true butterface. Who have you ever met whose ONLY flaw was their facial configuration? Even if you think someone’s only flaw is their face there’s a good chance they also have crooked toes, strange looking ears (not part of a face), and/or a horrible personality. Calling someone a “butterface” generally doesn’t take those things into account. Basically “butterface” is people’s way of saying “an ugly woman with a nice body” and that’s just very shallow.  If we’re going to be picking out people’s flaws let’s go all the way with it. Don’t just stop at the face. I want to hear more people called “butterface-moles-odor-political beliefs-toenails-bipolar disorder, etc.” I’m sure that would get too exhausting. Maybe we should just realize no one’s perfect and stop defining people by their haunting facial disfigurements.

The man on the left is thinking "Am I drunk enough to sleep with big tittied John Malkovich?" And the answer is yes.