Dumbass Sayings: “A Man With Four Balls Can’t Walk”

People always say “Baseball is wrong, a man with four balls can’t walk.” I don’t really see how this conclusion is reached. What makes you think having an extra two testicles would make walking impossible? Of course a man with four balls can walk. Not only in baseball, where if a batter avoids swinging at four pitches out of the strike zone and is then awarded first base, but in actual life where a man has twice as many testes. Now it might get a little painful to run if all four are clacking around like door knockers, but walking at a decent pace wouldn’t be a big deal. Even if it was a big deal I’m sure they would just invent a special undergarment that isolated each set of balls in a mesh suspension device to avoid testicular turbulence. Baseball is just like life, three strikes you’re out, and having extra testicles doesn’t make bipedal ambulation impossible. Baseball is right.

Having four ovaries on the other hand would be pretty debilitating. That must be why women have to play softball.