Ask McFartnuggets: “Will Science Ever Come Up With a Real Drug Like Limitless?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I am wondering will scentists and medicine people ever come up with a drug or a pill that makes you supersmart and unlocks your brain like in the movie “Limitless”? I really want a pill like that so it can help me at work and teach me karate, and I think that would help me by keeping my brain awake and strong to let me use all 100% of it and not just 10%. I know there is dangers, but I am ready for it. Can this happen?  -- Oscar from Virginia Beach, Virginia

Dear Oscar:

They actually already have that, it’s called cocaine and it’s why I can’t see my family anymore. I don’t recommend cocaine, but the effects are a lot like what you see in the film “Limitless.” Your vision gets sharper (at least mine did), you do get better at karate (key word being “better” and not “good”), you talk a lot, and you can stay awake for days. Also, there’s always the chance you wind up with a dead hooker in your room. The problem with cocaine is it won’t take you to the heights you see in the movies. Unless you’re in 1980’s Miami, cocaine isn’t really going to help you climb the ladder in life. Even if it does give you the energy and motivation to succeed there’s always going to be a huge fall afterward. You can’t maintain any sense of success while on drugs. Eventually no matter what it is, whether it’s cocaine or the Limitless drug you will develop a tolerance and it’ll end up frying your brain or burning out your heart. The light that burns twice as bright lasts half as long and taking cocaine is like setting your candle to flamethrower mode. As with all treatments, I recommend checking with your doctor first.

If you slam your face into one of these babies you'll feel pretty damn limitless. If it's cut open first, of course.

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