Dumbass Sayings: “Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket”

When you’re talking to a wise old person they usually say things like “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” The idea of this advice is so if something bad happens and you drop your basket you don’t lose all your eggs at once in the same tragic moment. However, this is very impractical advice for the real world. Have you ever tried NOT putting all your eggs in one basket? Everyone in the supermarket looks at you like you’re a goddamn psycho. It’s totally fine and recommended to simply put a full carton of eggs in your basket and walk around with it like that. You don’t need to open the carton up and place a single egg in twelve different baskets. Not only will security ask you to leave, but the eggs will be much more vulnerable to breaking since they’re out of the protective carton. So no, you don’t have to put all your eggs in one basket, just make sure the eggs are protected properly. As long as all the eggs are safe in one place your only responsibility is to not lose them, but that’s common sense. There’s nothing profound about that. You don’t need to tell people “Don’t lose your eggs.” Everyone knows not to do that.

Instead of this, put an egg in each of your pockets, put some in your fannypack, and attach two more to string and wear them like earrings.