Sometimes when you walk into the room and see your grandma unconscious lying on the couch you get scared. You run over and shake her and say “Grandma?! GRANDMA?!” Then you put your ear over her mouth to try and listen for breathing. At that point she yells “BOO!” really loud into your ear and starts laughing hysterically and says “Boy, I just scared the pants off of you!” First of all, what a tasteless prank. Second of all, while it may be true that this scared me, my pants were definitely still on the whole time. When people are frightened their pants don’t just fly off. I don’t care how scared you get, fear doesn’t make pants come off and thank god it doesn’t. If that was the case, rapists would have a much easier time doing what they do. The only time you can get your pants scared off is it someone holds a gun to your head and says “Take your pants off.” But at that point they could have you do about anything. A belts and suspenders are not the ultimate sign of courage. Fear does not disrobe you. Now scaring the piss out of someone makes more sense, and sorry about your carpet, grandma.
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| Fear is the enemy of pants. |
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