Dumbass Sayings: “I Hate Goodbyes”

The hardest part of taking a
hostage is saying goodbye.

When social services comes to take your children to live with a foster family, your kids will usually start crying, give you a hug and say “I hate goodbyes.” To me this seems like a silly thing to say. Who likes goodbyes? You may as well say something else completely obvious like “Urine tastes funny”, “You shouldn’t have let us go to the zoo alone that many times” or “I love you.” Why is stating the obvious so popular with people? I thought I raised these kids better than that. Sometimes you don’t need words. Sometimes silence and the emotions we’re feeling say it all. It’s about the look in your eyes. The tears rolling down your cheeks are the only thing I need to see to know goodbyes hurt. I know. It’s going to be okay. This is the start of your new life. I know I messed up bad. I’m just not ready to be a parent. Maybe one day when I get my life together I’ll come visit you and we’ll have a talk with your foster family and maybe the judge will work something out for us. Til then, don’t hate goodbyes, sweethearts. Don’t hate goodbyes.

Dumbass Sayings: “Just Be Yourself”

Keep in mind being "yourself"
doesn't always pay off in social
situations. Especially if yourself
wants shark teeth.

Whenever you creep a woman out and ask a friend for advice on how to seduce them effectively they’ll generally say “Just be yourself!” Yeah, wow that’s real helpful! Be yourself? When are you NOT yourself? Anything you do is being yourself unless you’re in a disguise claiming to be a different person. Whether I’m speaking with a Spanish accent or talking like a surfer that’s still ME. That’s still my mind choosing to make those decisions because I think that’s how I should act. How much more yourself can you get than that?

We identify ourselves through our instincts so when your instinct is to try to be someone else, that’s still you. Someone else has to tell you to stop doing that and go back to how you were before you started trying to impress people. That’s not you, that’s who you WERE before a friend told you to change. “Just be yourself” doesn’t literally mean “Be yourself” it means “Don’t make an ass out of yourself like you normally do when you’re nervous.” But if people said it like that it would sound a lot more hurtful so they sugarcoat it.