Ask McFartnuggets: “Why Does My Vagina Smell Like Domino’s Pizza?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

When my husband came home the other day he said “Oh goodie! You ordered Domino’s!” The only problem is he got his hopes up because I didn’t. He said he could have sworn he smelled Domino’s when he came in even through the front screen door because Domino’s has a distinctive smell to him. I was baffled because I wasn’t even in the mood for pizza that night so there’s no way I would have drunkenly dialed out and not realized it (As I tend to do sometimes). We got to thinking and neither of us could figure out why this happened. Then later that night in bed my husband realized the smell of Domino’s seemed to be emanating from my vulva. I couldn’t believe it. I went to the bathroom and washed my vagina and came back. He said he still smelled that haunting Domino’s aroma. He told me he wouldn’t be able to sleep if it still smelled like that so I ended up Febreezing it and putting a Glade plug in up my hoohah. The smell didn’t totally go away, but it was masked well enough for us to get a decent night’s sleep. Even today the question and the smell still lingers. Why does my vagina smell like Domino’s Pizza? It’s not DiGiorno, it’s delivery and it’s coming out of me! Help! -- Naomi from Kennesaw, Georgia

Dear Naomi:

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…. I’m pretty sure you have a yeast infection.

At least have your vagina smell like Papa John's. Come on!

Have questions you need answers to? Send them to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com and I’ll try to help!