The Top 5 Things Dogs Are Allowed to Do to People, But People Aren’t Allowed to Do to Dogs

Dogs get a lot of
privileges that we don't.

When you encounter a stranger walking their dog, sometimes the dog will run up to you and engage. When this happens the dog pretty much has the freedom to do anything they want short of urinating on you. Dogs don’t have to worry about what society says is acceptable. People do though and that means even if a dog does something to you, you are not allowed to do it back. Here are the top 5 things dogs are allowed to do to you, but you can’t do to a dog:

5. Lick

When a dog licks your face it’s okay because dog saliva is cleaner than human saliva. That’s how dogs are able to eat their own feces. If you’ve ever tried doing that you know it can make you very sick. That’s why it’s not okay to lick a dog’s face. You will risk making them ill.

4. Bark in face

Dogs are able to bark at people as loud as they want and no one gets offended. It’s accepted as normal dog behavior. A person barking at a dog however is considered inappropriate. The reason is that humans are generally larger than dogs. If you’re bigger you can’t bark at something. An adult shouldn’t bark at a pomeranian just the same as a great dane shouldn’t bark at a baby human.

3. Jump on

When you come home a lot of the time your dog will jump all over you because it’s happy you’re home. Conversely, if your dog has been away at work and comes home, you cannot jump ontop of it. That is very dangerous. Unless you’re a light person and you have a giant dog you should never leap on the back of your dog.

2. Sniff butthole

Sometimes when a dog meets you for the first time it will jump up and smell your butthole. Dogs love sniffing buttholes. Despite the fact that sniffing a butthole is the dog version of a handshake, you cannot sniff a dog’s butthole. When someone walks past you on the street with their dog and the dog stops to say hello, you cannot bend down and sniff the dog’s balls and ass. That is totally inappropriate.

And the number one thing that dogs can do to humans but humans can’t do to dogs is…

1. Hump leg

Speaking of things you can’t do when you meet a dog being walked in the park by their owner, you cannot hump their legs. Dogs for some reason get a pass on humping the leg of a human. That pass does not apply to humans. Humans just aren’t allowed to hump legs. That’s basically never acceptable behavior anywhere with anything or anyone unless you have verbal consent. You may even want to get that in writing just in case there are charges brought against you.