The Top 5 Things You Can No Longer Do As An Adult

When you grow up you can't
work in the coal mine anymore.

You don’t really know how good you have things as a child until you’re an adult. At that point all you can do is envy your past self and wish you took advantage of all the opportunities children are given that adults aren’t. There are a lot of things that kids take for granted. Here are the top 5 things you can no longer get away with doing as an adult:

5. Tease children.

I’m not saying it’s okay for kids to tease other kids, but it happens. There’s nothing you can do about that. It’s much more of a problem when adults tease children. It’s amazing how much difference twenty years can make.

4. Pee your pants in an elementary school.

When you’re 7-years-old it’s excusable to pee your pants in school. It’s still frowned upon, but it’s not the end of the world. When you’re 40-years-old it’s a different story. First of all people usually want to know why you’re in the school.

3. Play in the McDonald’s ball pit.

For some reason only children are allowed to play in hamster tubes. Even if there are no kids in there and it’s 3 in the morning, the McDonald’s employees still call the cops.

2. Sleep in your parents’ bed.

When you’re a kid and you can’t get to sleep or you’re scared you can always jump into your parents’ bed and snuggle up with them. Not so when you’re 50. If you want to do that you’ll have to fly all the way to their retirement home in Florida and the orderlies give you odd stares.

And the number one thing you can’t do as an adult that you could do as a child is...

1. Cry at Toys “R” Us

The floors of Toys “R” Us are one of the most common places to find the tears of children, but you should never find adult tears there. If you’re an adult crying in the middle of a Toys “R” Us it should be because you just got a call that somebody you love just died. That’s the only acceptable time to cry in a Toys “R” Us. Any other reason is going to make people think you’re a complete psycho.

Shoulda saved your allowance instead of spending it on those stupid ass wings!