Dumbass Sayings: “If You Love Something, Let it Go”

They say “If you love something you gotta let it go and if it comes back that’s how you know.” That doesn’t make much sense. If I love something then I love something and that’s good. Why do I have to let something go? That’s idiotic. I used to think this saying was true until I had five consecutive dogs run away from me and never come back. Then I learned that’s what dogs do. That’s why people keep them on leashes. The leashes aren’t there specifically to be cruel to the dogs. If you take the leash off 99% of the time you will never see your dog again no matter how much you love it.  Also, never say this to someone who’s dangling a baby over a balcony like Michael Jackson. Good thing he didn’t believe in this saying. I guess this means every balloon I’ve ever had didn’t really love me back. That’s a horrible thing to tell a kid. It’d bad enough their balloon is flying away and they’re crying, then to tell them that the balloon didn’t give a shit about them? That’s harsh.

When you really love someone you NEVER let go. Right, grandma?!