The Top 5 Biggest Clues That Clark Kent is Superman

The world's greatest disguise.

Superman is one of the most polarizing superheroes ever created. One of the major flaws in his story is how no one in Metropolis can figure out that he’s Clark Kent. Some people argue that Clark Kent’s glasses are the perfect disguise because Superman obviously doesn’t need glasses. That’s a decent excuse, but there are other reasons why people should be able to figure out who he is. Here are the top 5 biggest clues that Clark Kent is Superman:

5. Clark Kent can’t be hurt.

This is probably one of the most obvious clues. If anyone happened to shoot Clark Kent in public, his entire cover would be blown. Also, some innocent person would probably be hit by the bullet ricocheting off of him.

4. Clark Kent can’t have real sexual intercourse with a human being.

Only women would be able to use this clue, but it would be a pretty glaring hint. Either Clark Kent is a virgin on Earth or he’s got a bunch of dead hookers he’s banged to death hidden somewhere. Who knows maybe he throws them into space or something.

3. Clark Kent keeps staring at women as if he can see them naked.

If Clark Kent was real he’d obviously be using his X-ray vision to be checking people out all the time. This would be apparent during Winter months when he’d be staring and winking at women in giant winter coats and snow pants that reveal nothing. What is he so excited about? And why does my vagina feel like it’s being burned by radiation?

2. Clark Kent is allergic to Kryptonite.

Whenever Clark Kent is exposed to Kryptonite he always manages to make an excuse to leave the room immediately. That’s a pretty suspicious thing. Most news folks would be interested in examining Kryptonite and really checking it out, which is what Clark Kent was pretending to be. So the fact that he wants no part of it and it’s making him dry heave is pretty strange.

And the number one biggest clue that Clark Kent is Superman is…

1. Just look at him… It’s obviously the same dude.

They’re the same exact size, same head, same face, same build. If Clark Kent ever wore contacts it would all of a sudden become painfully obvious he was Superman, but for some reason those glasses are the one thing thing keeping people from putting two and two together. You throw in all the physical similarities with the fact he runs away from Kryptonite and is afraid to have sex with humans because he might kill them, you arrive at the conclusion that Clark Kent is Superman pretty damn fast.