Dumbass Sayings: “This is the Last Thing I Need Right Now!”

When a person’s car won’t start in the parking lot after a bad day at work they’ll usually say something like “This is the last thing I need right now!” Of course they’re not being entirely honest with that saying. The LAST thing you would need is for someone to put a chainsaw in your butt and pull the cord on it. I’m sure on a list of the things you need, having someone inject needles of corrosive acid into your eyeballs would be a little bit lower than having your car not start. Basically what I’m trying to say is if your car doesn’t start or if you find your wife cheating on you, or your dog just died, there are always much worse things that can hypothetically happen to you. So as long as you’re pretending like there’s a list of things you need and all the bad things are at the bottom, you can’t lie and pretend a non-fatal scenario is the final, ultimate thing on that list. That’s a fraudulent statement and it’s insulting to people who are actually experiencing excruciating anal probe, acid in eyeball pain.

Regardless of what you think, being dead is actually the LAST thing you need. Fortunately it's the last thing you get.