2.03.2015

Ask McFartnuggets: “I Can Light My Queefs on Fire, Is That Normal?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
One of my favorite things to do at parties is light my queefs on fire. It’s a really funny trick that everyone seems to enjoy. The other night someone mentioned to me that it was a little weird that I could do that. I guess they were the only one sober at the time so they saw it with a bit of a level head. Now that I’m sober I’m wondering is it weird that I light my queefs on fire? Is that normal? -- Nora from Baltimore, Maryland

Dear Nora:
Considering that a queef is mostly just oxygen trapped in the vagina I would say it’s incredibly odd that you can conflagrate it. There must be something fishy going on in your lady parts in order for you to be able to flambé a queef, if you pardon my French. If I had to venture a guess I would say there is an excessive amount of bacteria in your vagoogoo and it’s fermenting and that gas then reacts basically the same way as an ass fart. This is definitely not a good thing aside from the entertainment purpose.

If you can use your queefs to clear out a fortified military bunker then there are problems.

Address your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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