Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Do Football Players Have III In Their Names?

Dear McFartnuggets: 

How come you see football players with III on their jerseys like Earl Thomas III and Robert Griffin III but you never see any players with IV or higher on their names? How is it possible that there have been a bunch of players whose fathers had the same names as their grandfathers, but never players whose fathers had the same names as their grandfathers who had the same name as their greatgrandfathers? What the hell is that all about? -- Ursula from Memphis, Tennessee

Dear Ursula:

I have a feeling that in the next few years we’ll start to see NFL players with IV in their names. I have two theories as to why you don’t see very many Krayshon Diddlesworth The Fourths around right now. One theory is because this whole business of calling yourself The Third or III is a trend. It’s definitely an African American thing. You hardly see any White players called The Third. So maybe there have been The Fourths in the NFL before, but it was never put on their jersey because it wasn’t popular to do. There are likely many The Fourths in pee wee leagues right now who are getting ready for the pros. The other theory is that because so many NFL players have incredibly original names you just won’t see African American parents passing down the same names over and over. Why give your kid a boring name like Marion or Cecil when you could call them D’Brickishaw or Demontavious? Obviously you won’t see any Demontavious Richardson The Fourths for at least another fifty years or so.

Y.A. Tittle was a pioneer who made it okay for football players to have really weird names.

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