Ask McFartnuggets: "Is The Grandfather Paradox Real?"

Dear McFartnuggets: 

A friend told me about the grandfather paradox where if a time traveler kills his grandfather before he meets his grandmother then he cannot exist because then his father or mother could not have been born and therefore he could not have been born. Well I tried this. I accidentally killed my grandfather, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. Bottom line, I’m still here. I didn’t evaporate or disappear into thin air. I still exist so how can the grandfather paradox be real? Clearly someone was mistaken. -- Irwin from Biloxi, Mississippi

Dear Irwin:

The reason you didn’t disappear is because you didn’t travel back in time to kill your grandfather before he met your grandmother. If you just kill your grandfather normally then of course you’ll still exist… That’s just terrible. There’s no reason to ever kill your grandfather. Even if you hate your grandfather more than anything in the world, he’s your grandfather. Unless your parents were really young sluts when they had you and your grandpa is only 30, just wait and time will do the work for you. I didn’t think I needed to tell people this.

Killing your grandpa won't prove anything. I know he's going to die soon anyway, but that's all the more reason to let it happen naturally.

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com