Ask McFartnuggets: “If Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus, Where Are Hermaphrodites From?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

People tell me that men are from Mars and women are from Venus which all makes sense but then I thought well where do hermaphrodites come from? Do they come from Mars or Venus too? Does anyone have the answer to this mystery? -- Belinda from Manchester, UK

Dear Belinda:

Obviously hermaphrodites hail from Uranus, thanks for the question! Just kidding, obviously hermaphrodites come from Earth just like men and women. We all come from Earth vaginas. I don’t know where this men are from Mars women are from Venus stuff started. Unless of course there are little universes inside testicles that are exact replicas of our solar system. Then maybe it’s possible that individual sperm come from tiny testes planets. The X chromosome sperm (female sperm) come from Nutsack Venus and the Y chromosome sperm (male sperm) come from Nutsack Mars. The weird thing is that Y chromosome sperm are faster than X chromosome sperm and X chromosome sperm live longer just like adult women live longer than men and adult men are faster than adult women. So maybe sperm are just microscopic versions of ourselves and there are universes in our balls. Or more likely that’s not true. Anything’s possible though, I suppose.

If hermaphrodites did come from another planet it would probably have two sunsets.

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