Ask McFartnuggets: “What Happens If A Woman Uses Just For Men?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I found my first grey hair a few months ago and since then more and more have been showing up. I want to dye my hair, but I want a nice convenient method. I was taking a look at some of the “Just for Men” products at the CVS lately. The only problem is I’m a woman. I’m a little scared to try Just For Men. Is there a chance it could be dangerous because I’m breaking the rules? What will happen to me if I use it? -- Mandy from Blue Ball, Ohio

Dear Mandy:

You will grow male genitals… No of course I’m kidding. When a woman uses Just For Men it’s the same thing a man using Secret deodorant: people will just think they’re weird for not abiding by gender stereotypical products. The bottom line is you can’t let a box tell you what to do. You’re a woman in the 21st century and you can do anything you want. Yes, you can even drink Dr. Pepper TEN if you want. I know that sounds crazy, but you can’t let corporations control you. Eat Hungry Man dinners and spray your vagina with Old Spice deodorant. What’s the worst that could happen? (I am not responsible for any bizarre chemical/hormonal imbalance related death.)

Usually by the time you're old enough to need hair dye you've earned the right to do what you want, as well as be carried around wherever you go in a plastic chair.

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