Dear McFartnuggets: I was just wondering, should I be shampooing my ass hair in the shower every morning? -- Beth from Reno.
Dear Beth: Your butt hair is no different than your scalp hair. Hair is hair and should be treated as such. Does this mean you have to use expensive Italian shampoos on your rectum forest? No, but it does mean you should at least be scrubbing it daily with some Head & Shoulders to prevent flaking and follow that up with a nice conditioner for an exquisite “fresh from the salon” shimmer. If you really want to live on the wild side use Herbal Essences. You thought that stuff made you feel good when you were using it on your skull! Wait til you put it on your Devil’s Portal.
Matter of fact, the only time you shouldn’t shampoo your butt brush is if you’ve put it into cornrows (which I would NOT recommend, but hey some people like certain styles. Whatever works for you!). Always treat your ass hair like your head hair. You can even use styling gel in it if you’re going out to a nude beach and want to turn some heads with a mohawk or something. Hope that helps and have a happy new year, Beth!
Thanks for the conundrums and keep on sending them to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com