Is it a big deal when your baby is born at 4:56 pm on 7/8/09

When Van William Shepherd was born they said, 'Time of birth, 4:56 on 7/8."

"Oh, wait a second! 4,5,6,7,8,9!" The father screamed, clinging to the only special thing that's ever happened to him.

This kind of thing is stupid in my opinion. No one mentions jack sh*t when a baby is born at 1:23 on April 5th, because they have lives worth living. And by the way, that 9 doesn't count because its '09! There a zero there @sshole! You have to acknowledge that... If zeroes didn't count then you could use 4:50, June 7th '08 to acknowledge a streak of 4,5,6,7,8 and that's clearly f*cking stupid. Believe me, if I tried that, the newspapers would tell me to go screw myself.

Now the parents think it's some sort of good omen, how do they know? Maybe it's bad luck. There's no real precendent for this, that I know of. Do consecutive numbers all of a sudden mean good things? What if it means the child is destined to experience one tragic failure after another with no end in sight? Did you morons think about that? Sorry if this is coming off a bit brisk, but I can't stand people who make a big deal out of nothing, I've got enough problems as it is lady.

-Binkie McFartnuggets

1 comment :

  1. Technically, it's 2009 but regardless, the last time I checked, my watch also had a second hand which, conveniently, no one seems to take into account. Of course, there are milliseconds and microseconds too.

    But clearly this number sequence is a bad sign; with parents that are that easily manipulated into believing all sorts of arbitrary garbage, that poor kid is destined to have a terrible life. QED.

    BTW, I don't think you need to mask your words. If you're going to be flagged as an adult for using "asshole" and "shit", well then, you're an adult! Shit yeah!