10.16.2015

Ask McFartnuggets: “Can I Donate Sperm To Charity?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
I really want to help other people less fortunate than me, the problem is I don’t have very much money at the moment. What I do have is a lot of spare time and I am a great masturbator. I know that people can be sperm donors and sell their sperm so is there any way I can just give my sperm to a charity and let them keep the money? There’s a Red Cross for blood donations so is there a White Cross for semen donations or something? -- Dillon from Minneapolis, Minnesota


Dear Dillon:
From my experience, most charities will not take any form of semen, human or animal. The weird thing is if you insist and mail it to them or leave it in front of their door overnight they file legal action against you. I know it’s weird that you can donate blood but you can’t donate semen to charities, but they get a little picky about that sort of stuff. You’d think beggars can’t be choosers, but alas they certainly can. If you really want to donate your semen to a charity, the best thing you can do is donate it to a sperm bank for money. Then take that money and donate the actual money to charity. Use the sperm bank as a jizzy middleman. Of course it’d be nice if the charities would just take the cum, but hey, this isn’t a perfect world. That’s why we’ve gotta do what we can to help others! Good luck!

Your sperm are going to die anyway. Better to have them die for a good cause.

Send your questions to PizzaTesticles@yahoo.com

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