Ask McFartnuggets: “Shouldn’t Churches Have Retractable Roofs?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
How come people pray in churches indoors so much? If they’re praying to god shouldn’t they be outside looking to the sky? Shouldn’t the roofs of churches be able to retract and open up on a sunny clear day so everyone can pray under the light of Christ? Churches sure take enough money to pay for that kind of thing. -- Hector from Calabasas, California

Dear Hector:
Actually some churches do have retractable roofs already. It is a little unnecessary though. Clearly god can see through roofs. If he couldn’t see through roofs then that would mean he couldn’t watch football games and help players on teams that play in domed stadiums. I mean that could explain why most domed teams like the Minnesota Vikings, Atlanta Falcons, Indianapolis Colts, Minnesota Twins, and Tampa Bay Rays don’t win many championships… The St. Louis Rams won once though. Maybe they were an exception to the rule. That’s just a coincidence. God can see through roofs. If he couldn’t then he’d only be able to bless the people who live outside which are homeless and clearly he doesn’t do that! Unless god really does care about sports as much as the players seem to think and that’s all he spends his time on. It’s possible, but until then I’d say churches should spend their money helping the homeless who are already living without a roof over installing a mechanical roof for themselves.

I sure hope god likes looking down on sharp points!

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