Ask McFartnuggets: “What is it Like to Have a Grandpa?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Hey I was wondering what it’s like to have a grandpa. I never knew mine. I’ve always wanted to have a grandfather, but I only have grandmothers. I have three grandmas. My grandpa on my father’s side passed away. My mother’s parents are both women. My biggest grandma is transgendered so she would have been my one living grandpa. We don’t do things that I see other kids doing with their grandpa’s though and it makes me sad. Is it really cool to have a grandpa? -- Leon from Providence, Rhode Island

Dear Leon:
Oh… Right.. That’s probably going to be happening a lot more these days. Three grandmas, that’s pretty cool. That means you get three cards on your birthday with $2 dollars inside! That’s six dollars! That’s almost a useful amount of money! Having a grandpa isn’t that great. They make pretend quarters are coming out of your ears and take you to baseball games. That’s pretty much it. A grandma can do all the same shit especially if she has a dong. If you feel that strongly about it you should ask your big grandma to do some grandpa stuff. I’m sure she won’t mind. Same sex grandparents are going to be a lot more common than you think. Sure it’ll be weird to see, but that’s the future we’re going to live in, if humanity makes it that far.

Grandpa or grandma, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you have a senile, funny smelling relative who loves you.

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