Ask McFartnuggets: “Would America Be Safe With Hillary Clinton as President?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
The Democrats are probably going to nominate Hillary Clinton to be their Presidential candidate for 2016. I can’t believe Hillary Clinton as the President of the United States though. This is a dangerous world we live in right now with the Isis and the radical islamacists. What if another 9/11 happened with Hillary Clinton as the President? Remember when 9/11 happened and George W. Bush stood on the fallen Twin Towers with the megaphone and then later threw the first pitch at the World Series? He threw a perfect strike in the center of the zone and that let the country and the world know America wasn’t messing around. What if Hillary Clinton had to throw out the first pitch at the World Series like George W. Bush did! Could you imagine that? Could she even do it? I picture her throwing a ball that lands halfway and rolls slowly at the catcher and that just motivates the terrorists even more. Could Hillary Clinton land on an aircraft carrier under a big Mission Accomplished banner wearing a fighter pilot outfit? Why aren’t people considering this kind of stuff? -- Francis from Frankfort, Kentucky

Dear Francis:
Well, George W. Bush did stand under that “Mission Accomplished” banner, but the mission was far from accomplished so as cool as he looked he still appeared a tad foolish. And yeah maybe Hillary couldn’t throw out a first pitch, but that’s mostly meaningless. Bush’s first pitch was a nice thing to see that helped the country have a feel good moment after being attacked, but terrorists didn’t see him throw a strike and think “Oh shit, we’re in for it now!” If anything, terrorists are more familiar with Cricket so seeing Hillary bounce one might be more impressive to them. I’m sure she’d have Bill Clinton or the Secretary of Defense or the Vice President or Toby Keith or something throw it on her behalf. Plus, some people think she’s a lesbian so maybe she has a better arm than you think. Bottom line, if a first pitch after the next 9/11 is your main reason to oppose Hillary Clinton as President then you might need some better reasons.

She is starting to look a little like George Washington so that's comforting.

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