Dumbass Sayings: “Shit Just Got Real”

When your grandmother calls your cousin a “little slut” at Thanksgiving and then your cousin slaps your grandma in the face, your aunt turns to you and yells “Shit just got real!” Shit just got real? I got news for ya, shit was always real. We occur in the realm of reality here. Any “shit” that happens is most definitely real, that’s what happening means. This isn’t The Matrix. Seeing someone push an old lady down the stairs doesn’t suddenly clear a space in the haze of a holographic projection created by an advanced alien intellect created to control humanity. It’s not that certain things make life real it’s that so much of what we’re living in now is fake. Everything and everyone has evolved to surround themselves in fake bullshit that doesn’t have any substance or meaning so that when something not fake happens we think reality is finally present. Until proven otherwise, “shit” or life is always present and it’s always real. The only time this should have been said is by god right as the Big Bang happened. That’s the only time this phrase would have been acceptable. Instead of “Let there be light” he should have just said “Shit just got real.” Not as eloquent, but at least it makes sense.

Are those breasts real?

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