10.30.2015

The Top 5 Worst Halloween Costumes of 2015

Halloween is upon us once again which means it’s time for a quick recap of which Halloween costumes you should DEFINITELY NOT wear this year. Halloween costumes are all about grabbing attention, but here are the top 5 costumes that will get you the wrong kind of attention:


5. Cop
Dressing like a cop is always a risky move what with the chance you get arrested for impersonating a police officer. This year it’s a little more risky considering all the racial tension in America lately between African Americans and White cops. Now a lot of cops are heroes, but a few bad eggs have spoiled this for everyone. There have just been too many incidents to mention so it’s best to steer clear of the cop costume especially if you live near Baltimore or Ferguson, Missouri.

You definitely cross the line when you pretend to arrest someone.


4. Donald Trump
Donald Trump is bound to be a popular costume this year, but it may rub some people the wrong way. If you’re in a red state and can afford the suit and wig made of spun gold and fiberglass then go for it, but if you’re anywhere there might be Hispanic people you might want to reconsider.

Don't forget to put a dead cat on your head for the proper effect.


3. Caitlyn Jenner
Another highly popular and controversial costume this year will be Caitlyn Jenner. It will once again probably be okay with red state folks, but if you’re anywhere there might be women or politically correct liberal folk you’re asking for trouble. Caitlyn Jenner might be a reality star who murdered someone, but they are a person and not a fictional character. You get away with a lot more when you’re portraying fictional characters.

You shouldn't dress like people making difficult life choices.


2. Bill Cosby
Now I’m not sure how many people will have the balls to go as Bill Cosby, but those will be some pretty aloof individuals. It’s really the worst possible costume for someone to go as because if you’re not offending women or just humans with all the rape business, the blackface would probably put you over the top. This costume is totally offensive with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The number of people offended by your Bill Cosby costume might not even outnumber the people he's allegedly assaulted.


And the number one worst Halloween costume for 2015 is...



1. Jared Fogle
If there was going to be a costume or person that could beat out Bill Cosby it has to be Jared Fogel the Subway guy. Now while Bill Cosby likely sexually assaulted upwards of a thousand woman (rough estimate) Jared was doing about the same thing but with children. Both are obviously horrifying and appalling, but I think you have to give the edge to Jared in today’s society. Plus, there’s much less of a statute of limitations on Jared’s crimes. Like the sandwiches, the charges are quite fresh. If you see anyone going as Jared this year, feel free to castigate them for it. Anyone normal sized with glasses holding big ass pants to imitate massive weight loss up would be a suspect.

I don't even think THIS would be an acceptable costume.

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