12.06.2014

Ask McFartnuggets: “Did Bill Cosby Ruin The Ugly Christmas Sweater?”

Dear McFartnuggets: 
Christmastime is fast approaching and it’s my favorite time of year to wear big, ridiculous, ugly sweaters. Unfortunately due to the more than twenty sexual abuse accusations made against comedy legend Bill Cosby who was well known for wearing funny sweaters, I don’t know if it’s okay to wear them anymore. I think I’ll feel a little awkward hitting on women at a Christmas party wearing a big “rape sweater.” I don’t want women to get the wrong idea about me. I didn’t slip anything in their egg nog! I’m not here to put my pudding pop in them without consent. Am I wrong to think this or has the Christmas sweater’s reputation been tarnished? -- Paul from Alexandria, Virginia

Dear Paul:
I think you’re right. While Bill Cosby didn’t technically wear Christmas sweaters, wearing one will likely bring up thoughts of him this holiday season and that’s just not the type of message you want to send. While I don’t think I would go so far as to call them “rape sweaters” they definitely are stupid looking and the whole Bill Cosby fiasco makes you wonder what people can really be hiding under those absurd sweaters. In a way it’s as if people are drawing attention away from their demons by highlighting their sweater. It’s a very clever move actually. The Bill Cosby sweater is now much like a Ray Rice or Adrian Peterson jersey, except much worse if what he did is true. Even though people are innocent til proven guilty, most folks have decided Bill Cosby is guilty. Since public perception trumps all, it's probably best to keep those sweaters in the closet. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll be able to wear them again like a Michael Vick jersey.

There is no known correlation between weird sweaters and sexual assault.

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