The Top 3 Ways To Prepare For The Big California Earthquake

You can blame it all
on San Andreas.

Scientists and seismologists all agree that a gigantic earthquake will hit the state of California at some point in the near future. Some even believe that California will break off into the Pacific Ocean and sink like the lost city of Atlantis. The scary thing is that it could happen at any time between now and the next hundred years. "The Big One" as it's called will likely have a far reaching economic impact on all the other states and there's nothing we can do about that, but for those who live in California, there are some steps you can take. Here are the top 3 things you can do to prepare for The Big One:

3. Get a job where you work outdoors.

The nice thing about earthquakes is if you’re outside standing in the middle of a field or something there’s really no way it can kill you. The ground might break open and you’ll fall into a chasm, but that’s a lot better than being crushed by a collapsing building. So to decrease your odds of dying in a massive earthquake one of the best things you can do is get a job that involves working outdoors and not in an office building.

A lot of farmers and ranchers will survive The Big One.

2. Get a reinforced protective shelter

One great thing you can do to ensure you survive The Big One is have a reinforced safe or shelter in your home that you can hide in. When a high magnitude earthquake hits the biggest danger is falling objects and collapsing structures so if you’re in a steel box of some sort there’s a good chance you’ll live. The trick is making sure you can get out of the box when the danger subsides. That’s key because if you can’t get out then you’ll die slowly in a metal tomb and that’s a lot worse than dying in an earthquake.

Everyone should have an earthquake proof closet. 

And the number one thing you can do to prevent your death in a huge earthquake is…

1. Buy a helicopter

Helicopters are among the most expensive vehicles around, but priceless to own in an earthquake. Used copters usually sell in the neighborhood of $150,000. However, when you’re talking about the price of your life, $150,000 should be a fair investment. If you have a helicopter and can get to it in a reasonably quick fashion you’ll be able to fly above all the chaos and damage and keep your family from dying in The Big One. The only difficulty would be finding a nice landing spot on the mangled carnage left in the wake of the quake. Everyone in California should own a helicopter. As a matter of fact the U.S. government should be developing giant mega helicopters that can fit busloads of people on it to keep them safe when The Big One hits. Of course they won’t do that because that would be insanely expensive and probably wouldn’t logistically work. The fact still remains, helicopters are the way to go in an earthquake.

On the day of The Big One you'll probably see Arnold Schwarzenegger screaming "Get to da choppah" AND "Come with me if you want to live."