Dumbass Sayings: “I Hope You Die”

Sometimes your wife will run off with your son and before she slams the front door, she looks back and screams “I hope you die!” This is a silly thing to say. You hope I die? You don’t have to hope, it’s going to happen for sure. I’m going to die, you’re going to die, everyone is going to die. You don’t have to hope for things that are inevitable. Hell, I don’t even take it personally. I hope I die too! Eventually. I’m not suicidal, but I think everyone on Earth wants to die one day. Even if you didn’t mind seeing everyone you love die and having to live around the newer and more degenerative cultures that are up and coming in society, eventually the Earth will be destroyed. If you can’t die you’ll just be floating around in space. That would be torturous beyond all comprehension. I mean maybe eventually you’d land on a new planet but odds are it’ll be desolated with no life whatsoever. What the hell are you supposed to do with your time then? At a certain point you wouldn’t even know what time was and you’d just exist as this being on a deserted planet completely out of your mind insane after your brain had eaten itself alive. You’d be an immortal, psychotic savage creature just muttering gibberish to yourself for all eternity. NO THANKS. So yes I hope I die and I think what you mean to say is “I hope you die, while I am still alive so I get to see it and enjoy knowing you’re dead while I’m still alive.” That’s what people really mean and while that is a mouthful at least that makes a little more sense.

If you never die eventually you'll become a skeleton and that makes even the simple act of pooping very uncomfortable.