Dumbass Sayings: “All I Want For Christmas Is You”

For some reason the Mariah Carey song “All I Want For Christmas Is You” seems to be growing in popularity with every passing Christmas despite the fact it’s from 1994. I guess it’s the only somewhat modern Christmas song that’s been enjoyed by people so it really gets played a lot these days. The problem is saying “All I want for Christmas is you” is complete bullcrap. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that by a woman and I figure that gives me a pass on buying a Christmas gift. Not only that, but I assume it means I can take her gifts because she doesn’t really want them as long as I’m there. Well imagine my surprise when they start complaining about how I’m a “cheapskate son of a bitch” who “doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone but myself.” Excuse me? I was under the impression that all you wanted for Christmas was ME. Apparently that’s not the case. Oh they might want you, but they also want gifts, not only from you, but from other people too. No one JUST wants a single person and nothing else for Christmas. Even in cases of people who are truly in love, they’re expecting at least some sort of present from someone be it a family member or close friend. It’s Christmas for godsake. If you’re content with merely being in the presence of someone in a blank room on December 25th then that could be a sign of a severely clingy relationship.

You can't ask for people on Christmas. Santa isn't into human trafficking.