Dumbass Song Lyrics: “You Better Not Cry, You Better Not Pout”

In the Christmas classic “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” there’s a bit that goes “You better not cry, you better not pout.” The song is basically a warning children to regulate themselves because Santa is on his way and if they’re acting up they won’t get shit. The singer admonishes the children to “Watch out” so it’s not like the song is playfully telling kids “Hey don’t cry Santa’s coming!” It’s more like “You better stop your crying because Santa is almost here and you do NOT want to be crying when he shows up, you little punk!” The problem with this line is that crying and pouting isn’t necessarily naughty behavior. If a child is crying and pouting on Christmas Eve then there must be something seriously wrong going on. Does Santa really refuse to give gifts to children who are clinically depressed? To me that sounds extremely cruel and wrong. If anything, crying children should be given Christmas gifts to improve their mood, anything to avoid the need for prescription medications. We don’t entirely know how those drugs can affect a developing brain so whatever you can do to circumvent therapy or pharmaceuticals is good.

Santa does not tolerate crying.