Dumbass Sayings: “Drunk as a Skunk”

Sometimes you’ll get a call from the local sheriff’s office and they tell you they have your grandpa in custody and he’s “Drunk as a skunk again.” Drunk as a skunk? Who makes this stuff up? Skunks don’t imbibe alcoholic beverages. It’s like someone just decided to find a word that rhymed with drunk and since “drunk as a monk” didn’t really make sense they chose skunk. Now it’s true that sometimes when my grandpa gets really drunk he pulls his pants down and sprays diarrhea on people in much the same manner a skunk would spray skunk juice on people, but that’s definitely not where the saying originated. That’s just an unfortunate coincidence. Where does “drunk as a skunk” fall on the chart of how drunk someone is anyway? It has a humorous connotation to it so it can’t be that severe. You would never see someone vomiting all over their steering wheel with a revolver in their mouth and say that person is “drunk as a skunk.” You would say “That person needs serious help right now.” So “drunk as a skunk” isn’t even that drunk. Why even use this phrase?

Maybe if being sprayed by a skunk was called getting "Shitfaced" this might make sense.