The Top 10 Worst Pizza Toppings of All-Time

There are quite a few things
you don't want on a pizza.

Everyone knows pizza is basically just bread with tomato sauce and cheese so people think that gives them free reign to put whatever they want on top to help spice things up. From meatloaf to scorpions, everyone has their own personal favorite weird pizza topping. While innovation can be good, it can also be very nauseating. Here are the top 10 worst pizza toppings of all time:

10. Hamburger

You can’t put hamburger on pizza. It’s just odd. Hamburgers are good and pizza is good, but putting two things together like that rarely ends well. If you've ever mixed lobster and milkshakes you know what I'm talking about. No one makes hot dog pizzas for that exact reason. Imagine putting marinara sauce on a hamburger, it just doesn’t work.

There's a reason we can't all just combine all our favorite foods to make a hamburger pizza hot dog flavored ice cream.

9. Fritos

Papa John’s actually offers a Fritos pizza these days. Why would anyone pay to have a pizza specially made with Fritos on the top? Just buy a bag and add them on yourself. Better yet, don’t because that’s idiotic. It’s basically just dumping corn on your pizza. I don't see how that helps.

An obese alcoholic somewhere accidentally spills Fritos on his pizza and now it's a delicacy?

8. Cookies

“Cookie pizza” is a fairly popular dish in America, but that’s not literally cookie pizza it’s just a big ass cookie. Real cookie pizza is gross. An actual cheese pizza covered in chocolate chip cookies tastes bizarre and wrong.

Good on their own, not when mixed with tomato sauce and cheese.

7. Yogurt

Adding any type of semi-solid half fluid onto your pizza like yogurt or pudding is never a good idea. The textures are all off and the sweetness of the yogurt is not an improvement to the overall taste of the pizza.

Usually people put toppings on yogurt. You can't be a topping when you need toppings.

6. Sardines

A lot of people hate anchovies on their pizza, some people like it, but most people can agree that sardines on a pizza is just messed up. They’re too big and oily, it makes the bread all sloppy and by the time you’re done eating it smells like you just went down on a homeless woman.

Sardines are too big to be on a pizza. You may as well slap a couple of mackerels on that bitch.

5. Baby mice

I don’t think I need to explain this one.

Even without fur they're a disgusting topping.

4. Tuna

Putting fish on pizza is generally a bad idea, but it’s an even worse idea when it’s tuna. At least anchovies have a flavor to them, but tuna is a bland fish that will only serve to muddle the flavor of a pizza.

Tuna is technically a step below Fancy Feast.

3. Peanut butter

People say peanut butter goes great with everything, well that’s not true. Peanut butter doesn’t go well with mozzarella cheese or marinara sauce, the two key ingredients of pizza.

Pizzas can be a lot of things, but "creamy" shouldn't be one of them.

2. Orange

In general, fruit isn't a good pizza topping, but oranges in particular are a bad choice. The citrus taste clashes horribly with the tomato flavor and the oily cheese. You don’t see orange flavored cheeses very often and that’s for a reason. Pizza is a lot like toothpaste when it comes to how well it mixes with orange.

You shouldn't even drink orange juice while eating normal pizza.

And the number one worst pizza topping is...

1. Mayonnaise

Mayo is an all-around terrible pizza topping. It’s so bad you never even see freaks who eat french fries with mayo putting it on their pizza. The taste is odd, the texture and mouthfeel is uncomfortable, and even the visual of a pizza pie covered in mayonnaise is enough to make you physically ill.

Your pizza should never look like a hippo jizzed on it.