Dumbass Sayings: “Short and Sweet”

Sometimes at Thanksgiving dinner your wife gets drunk in front of everyone and says “Let me make this short and sweet, I want a divorce.” How exactly is that “sweet”? Whenever people say “Let me make this short and sweet” they rarely if ever say anything sweet to you. It’s always abrupt and usually offensive. Unless you’re a member of the Lollipop Guild from “Wizard of Oz” you’re not making anything short and sweet. They were the epitome of short and sweet. Their song was brief in nature and they were dwarfs holding big ass lollipops. That is about as short and sweet as you can get and no one can ever come anywhere close to that with their supposed “short and sweet” statements. You know what a short and sweet statement is? “I love you.” That’s short and sweet. So unless you’re going to say that to me save your “short and sweet” preamble, dummy.

If you say "short and sweet" you better be referring to a diabetic dwarf.