Ask McFartnuggets: “Is It Legal To Kidnap Babies From Homeless People?”

What to do with hobo babies
is quite the conundrum.

Dear McFartnuggets: 

I always see homeless women with babies on my way to work in the morning and it breaks my heart. They hold their babies in their arms while they go around begging people for money in the cold and the baby looks freezing. I want to kidnap at least one of these babies and donate them to a church or orphanage or something where they can at least have shelter. Is that legal to do? I don’t see people doing it. I’m a little worried someone might stop me, but shouldn’t someone be taking these kids away? Why is it okay to take away a baby that’s being mistreated in a home, but not okay to take away a baby that’s being endangered on the streets? -- Salvatore from Los Angeles, California

Dear Salvatore:

The whole issue with this is that because they’re homeless there’s no real record of what’s going on with these people. It might not even be their baby, no one has a way to know. There are ways to know, but no one really gives a shit. Taking a baby from a homeless woman would still be like taking their property. Even if you do see a homeless personal obviously abusing a child and you have camera footage of it you still need to call the cops in that case. You can’t just go up and snatch the baby away. In a way, the baby of a homeless is like a dog of a homeless. You might think they’re suffering, but that’s just because you’re used to your housed life where you have things so great. When you’re living life on the mean streets, scavenging and begging for food, you can still survive you just end up tougher, and/or maybe a little mentally disturbed. Ultimately you’re the one projecting your views and parenting beliefs on another parent and even if they’re homeless that’s not cool to do unless they’re actually abusing the child. If they’re being a loving hobo parent then there’s no much you can do.

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