Dumbass Sayings: “Blood is Thicker Than Water”

Sometimes when a family member’s funeral is scheduled for the same day you’re going to a hockey game and you don’t know which one to go to your cousin says “Blood is thicker than water.” Okay so blood is thicker than water. Blood represents family so what is that supposed to mean? Your family is more important than hydration? Since when does thickness equate to being more important? And even if we were to accept that, your family is not more important than WATER. Water is the key to all life on this planet. I know your family is cool and all, but if they disappeared from this Earth everyone else would be perfectly okay. Take all the water off Earth and see what happens...

You know what else is thicker than water? Gravy. Gravy is also thicker than blood so what is THAT supposed to mean? Does that mean meat grease sauce is more important than your family? The fact of the matter is water is a fairly thin substance. The list of things that are thicker than water is far longer than the list of things that are thinner than it. On top of that, blood isn’t much thicker than water. Pudding is a lot thicker than blood and water and Bill Cosby proved that doesn’t mean a damn thing.

Sewage is thicker than blood.