Dear McFartnuggets:
The other day I was in Kohl’s buying a new blender when I saw this fat lady just pee herself all over the floor then she ran out with her husband and they sped away in their minivan. She just left and the Kohl’s employees had to mop up the pee. Shouldn’t she have been arrested for public urination? Is it not considered public urination if you pee on yourself just downward and not projecting it out with your privates exposed? -- Troy from Lubbock, Texas
Dear Troy:
Okay judging by what you just described I think you may have just seen a pregnant woman have her water break. In that instance that wouldn’t be a punishable crime because the woman is about to go into labor and it would have to take a lot to arrest a pregnant woman about to give birth. It would take a lot more than “peeing” all over the floor of a Kohl’s that’s for damn sure. If she actually did just straight up pee on the floor then even then I don’t think you can consider that an arrestable crime. It is technically “public urination,” but you hit the nail on the head, if there are no exposed genitals there’s no public indecency being displayed. In most cases people won’t pee on themselves in a nefarious way. Peeing in your pants is almost always a complete accident and most of us wouldn’t want to live in a world where you get arrested for that, though I’m sure this might vary from state to state.
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