Dumbass Sayings: “Totaled”

When you have one too many martinis and accidentally drive your grandma’s car into a ravine then wake up in a hospital bed sometimes you’re awakened by your grandma grabbing you by the neck screaming “You totaled my car! You totaled my car!” I never liked this term “totaled.” The problem I have is what do you call a car that you crashed that isn’t totaled? You never hear that someone “partialed” a car. So a car can only either be perfectly fine or totaled? That’s what’s being suggested if “totaled” is a term. We need to do away with this term and replace it with a damage scale of some sort. Just grade the damage on a scale of 1-10 and do away with the totaled/not totaled concept. Instead of “totaled” you could say your crash was a “10.” If you can still drive it away then that’s more of like a “7.” If you only dented it then that’s a “2” and of course “1” is no damage at all. Also, the word “totaled” is completely unnecessary. You can just say “destroyed” and that means basically the same exact thing.

Your first totaled car is always a fun family moment.