Ask McFartnuggets: "Why Don't People With Insomnia Just Take NyQuil?"

Dear McFartnuggets: I always hear people complaining about having insomnia and not being able to fall asleep. Have these people ever heard of NyQuil? Seriously. Come on. This stuff can put an elephant in a three year coma and make it believe it's the queen of Denmark. Are people kidding me with the insomnia? I want to just shove a bottle down their throats so they can see how quickly they fall asleep. How can anyone take insomniacs seriously? Obviously they want to be awake. -- Tina from Appleton, Wisconsin

Dear Tina:

Well yeah NyQuil would probably work, but it's not meant to be a sleeping aid. It's got lots of weird chemicals and alcohol in it so it's very unsafe to take on a regular basis to help you fall asleep if you're having issues sleeping every night. It might work one night and the next and the next, but in a week or so your body will build a tolerance meanwhile all the harmful ingredients meant to only be taken a few times when you're sick will build up and cause damage to your kidneys and such. It's kinda like how chloroform would obviously be a great cure for insomnia but who really wants a chloroform rag pressed over their nose and mouth every night? There's a chance you might never wake up.

There's nothing like waking up from a NyQuil coma healthy and telling everyone around your bedside that you had a dream and they were all in it.

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