Dumbass Sayings: “Age is Just a Number”

When you make a wry remark about your great aunt’s thong at Easter and tell her she’s too old to be dressing like that she says “HEY! Age is just a number!” No... “Age” is a WORD. It’s silly that people say this because it only serves to make them appear even more senile than they are. I think what they’re trying to say is “MY age is just a number.” Sadly, even saying that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because it’s not just a number. If age was “just a number” you could say you were negative 5,439 years old and it may as well be true. Unfortunately we live in reality where your age is quite literally a denotation of how many years you’ve been alive on this planet. The most years you have, the older you are and the closer you are to a naturally occurring death. It’d be nice if that’s not what cumulative years meant, but it does. There’s nothing wrong with getting older, everyone does it. You’re better off just accepting it and marching to your grave with confidence and poise than backpedaling in denial. When you backpedal in denial that usually results in tripping and falling backwards unexpectedly and not only does that make you look foolish it means you never got a chance to properly prepare for the conclusion of your life. Age isn’t just a number, it means how old you are. Embrace it.

Yeah and 69 is just a number too, right?