Dumbass Sayings: “Baby”

When you invite your ex-wife to your grandmother’s funeral and she brings her new husband the two of them make out and say “Oh baby, oh baby, I love you baby.” Why do people say this? This is one of the most popular things for people to call their significant other and I just don’t get it. Do people even know what a baby is? It’s an incredibly young human puppy. Why would you connect the idea of sexual loving and an infant? You would never make out with a baby so why are you calling the person you’re making out with “baby”? Think about it. It just doesn’t make sense. I know people don’t really think about this when they call their sex partner “baby” but if that’s the case then why even say it? It’s weird because that’s the go-to phrase people use during sex. No one says “Oh honey, oh honey!” or “Oh muffin! OH MUFFIN!” It’s always with the “baby.” It’s disturbing and people need to stop. Come up with something better to call someone during sex, it’s creeping me out.

What the hell is that...