Dumbass Sayings: "If Everyone Jumped Off a Cliff Would You Jump Too?"

When your mother catches you freebasing cocaine and you explain yourself by saying "Everyone's doing it!" sometimes she replies "If everyone jumped off a cliff/bridge would you do it too?!" At the time, this seemed like a pretty good question that had no answer, but a year can make you a lot wiser and I finally have a response for her. If EVERYONE was jumping off a bridge there must be a good reason. Everyone includes you too, mom. So if you're jumping then who the hell are you to question why I would jump? In a scenario like that there would have to be a reason for everyone jumping off the bridge. Maybe there’s a horrific brain parasite going around infecting every person on Earth and it lays eggs in your brain and people are jumping off the bridge to die by their own hand before their head bursts open with bug larvae. Even if there was no logical motive like that, if EVERYONE was jumping off a bridge then unless you want to be the last person on Earth you would have to jump too. It’d be like the world’s biggest game of hot potato. Everyone would be trying not to be the last person left alive so yeah if that’s the game then you go ahead and jump because there’s no better alternative. So in a roundabout way what I’m trying to say is I don’t have a drug problem.

Do you really want to be the ONE person in the world who doesn't jump off a bridge? Remember there'd be no one to brag about it to.