1.23.2015

Dumbass Sayings: "Be Still My Beating Heart"

Sometimes when you flirt with one of your grandma's friends down at the retirement home the old lady will say "Oh be still my beating heart!"  I never understood this saying. Of course we all know it's Shakespeare, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it makes no damn sense. Why would you want your beating heart to stop? You realize you'll die, right? If your beating heart goes still you will be technically deceased. Stop inadvertently wishing for cardiac arrest. If anything, say "Calm my pounding heart." That would make more sense. It's not Shakespeare, but at least it communicates your message in a less nonsensical manner as opposed to 16th century English that is outdated even for 89-year-old women at death homes.

Good thing you don't always get what you ask for.

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