Dumbass Sayings: “Six Free Yeast Rolls”

Golden Corral buffet is currently promoting a “Six free yeast rolls” deal where you get six bread rolls to take home after you pay for two adults. First off, “yeast rolls” is what I called my ex-wife’s stomach fat. If you could smell what was growing under those rolls you’d understand. And let’s get another thing straight here, things aren’t free if you have to pay for them. Saying “Six free yeast rolls (with purchase of 2 adult dinners)” is like saying “Free food (with purchase of meal).” Why not just have a commercial that says “Free chicken and steak and ribs!”? Basically they’re assuming that people don’t steal food from all-you-can-eat buffets so it’s an added benefit to be able to take rolls with you when you leave. I done been doing that, Golden Corral. No one’s going to pay for just six yeast rolls, so giving them for “free” doesn’t even mean anything. That’s like a fifteen cent value. It’s like a restaurant advertising “Free after-dinner mints!” No one’s coming in there specifically for free yeast rolls especially when they’re technically gonna pay for them. When you go to Golden Corral you actually pay twice. Once at the door and then again a few hours later on the toilet when your asshole is begging for mercy.

Mmmm, love that yeast!