Dumbass Sayings: “I Don’t Have a Mean Bone in My Body!”

Sometimes when you try to confront James at work for mocking the mentally challenged Seamless delivery guy he says “Me? I don’t have a mean bone in my body!” No of course you don’t. No one has a “mean bone” in their body. Bones don’t have thoughts and therefore can’t be rude or inconsiderate of other people. When you point and laugh at a fat man spilling some ice cream on his chest and licking it off his mantitties that’s YOU being an asshole, not your right scapula. It’s your subconscious personality that’s being mean not your goddamn distal phalanges! No one is accusing people of having an impudent formation of a collagen based matrix comprised of calcium, phosphates, and other minerals. Bones are like words, there’s no such thing as bad or good ones. It’s the person whom the bones belong to that are good or bad. If bones dictated our behaviors then it would be easy to just take good people’s skeletons after they died and implant them into living jagoffs. Unfortunately that’s not a procedure performed outside of Thailand and most respected people in the medical community do not believe it works.

Skeletons don't kill people, people do.